My Heart is Sad Today

I haven’t blogged in quite some time, my post started to get monotonous and then I went on vacation and I really got out of the habit but today I am compelled to write something about the tragedy that occurred yesterday during the Boston Marathon. For starters I cannot make sense of why someone would choose this venue to carry out their heinous act of violence. But to ask why someone would do this is an exercise in futility. Anyone so far gone in whatever belief system they adhere to that actually condones this kind of behavior on innocent victims is obviously irrational and therefore cannot answer a simple rational question as to why? Any answer would not make sense to a rational person and therefore useless to even pose. I can understand an act of violence against ones enemy say in a time and place of war, whatever side of the battle field you are on there are strong beliefs and both sides believe they are fighting for the side of good, usually. Add to that the fact that the combatants know the ultimate penalty for engaging in their activity may and could be death, the race participants and spectators who gathered along those streets certainly did not under any circumstance expect death to be an outcome of that day’s events.


One story that I’ve heard touched me profoundly, it was about the death of an 8 year old boy who was at the race to cheer on his father. Seeing his dad at the finish line he rushed out to him to hug him and then went back into the crowd with his mother. That was when the first bomb went off and tragically took his life. As a father and runner this hits me on so many levels it is hard to comprehend all the emotions it stirs up inside me. Sorrow for the father that lost his son, guilt because if he hadn’t run that day his son would still be alive, or if he had been 5 minutes faster or slower maybe he is still alive today. Finishing a marathon was one of the most emotional moments I’ve ever experienced; it sits firmly behind the birth of my children, my wedding day and the loss of my mother and grandfather. I could not fathom going through the extreme elation of not only finishing a marathon but finishing Boston, the Superbowl of marathons, having your son greet you and hug you at the finish line and then moments later he’s gone, ripped from this world like your heart from your chest.

I struggle sometimes with sympathy and empathy for others, it may be a byproduct of growing up in an alcoholic family or maybe it’s just how I was made but this situation, this one story pulls at my heart strings more than anything in recent memory, and there has been far too many things happen lately like this and the Sandy Hook elementary school shooting and other tragedy’s. I remember when 9-11 happened, I was shocked, saddened and angry but it did not touch me the same way this has. That may be in part to being older and now a father and having a completely different view on the world and life 12 years later.

My thoughts and prayers go out to everyone affected by this tragedy, yesterday was a sad day for the world of running and for the world itself when events like this are becoming more and more common. Healing will come over time for most, but the scars will remain forever on some. My heart is sad today and that is really the only way I can put it.